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Advice | The single best gift you can give anyone, according to teachers

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Write about gift-giving and you find out a lot about folks.

In a recent column, I put together a holiday wish list for teachers based on the results of an informal poll. Though many made clear they did not expect presents from their students, gift cards and school supplies were always welcome.

Then, as readers began commenting on the column, it became clear that what matters most — to teachers and otherwise — is feeling appreciated.

Affirmation doesn’t need a gift receipt.

If you’ve still got shopping to do, or you’re racking up debt to show your love, read what it meant to some commenters to hear how their work made a difference. It’s a lesson for us all. (Responses have been edited for clarity.)

  • I quit teaching preschool in 2015, and I still haven’t used up all my Starbucks cards! The letters, drawings, and cards I’ll keep forever. I especially love when a parent shares a favorite memory or a story their child brought home.”
  • “32-year high school teacher here: What I cherished the most were end-of-the-year notes of thanks from kids and parents stopping by at conferences after their kids graduated who thanked me for preparing their kids for college.”
  • Gift cards are nice, but I keep every single note my students write to me. I particularly treasure the ones that are specific and heartfelt.”
  • “As a teacher of high school students in a Title I school, my favorite gift was a handwritten student note. One young man wrote, ‘You’re one of my top three teachers Ms. W.’ One mother told me, ‘Leon said you treat him like a real person.’ Those shared thoughts, shared affection, were the most treasured gifts I ever received, and now seven years retired, I still remember.”
  • “It costs nothing to acknowledge the very important and necessary role educators play in the lives of other people’s kids.”
  • “When I was a teacher, I valued the cards and notes my students gave me. I’ve moved a bunch, but I still have those. Their kind words were great gifts!”

Teacher teared up reading kids’ wish lists, made sure all were granted

  • “I once received a note from a high school student when her little sister became one of my elementary music students. I’m not a crier, but I came awfully close that day. And yes, I keep the letters and cards. I did start scanning them once I retired and began downsizing, but I still have them.”
  • “A few years ago, my mom celebrated her 100th birthday. I connected with the Facebook group from the school where she primarily taught and collected birthday wishes and memories from former students. She kept those cards and notes until her death. Letting teachers know they made a difference is a huge gift.”
  • “As a (professor) mom of a kindergarten child, I can absolutely vouch for thank you cards/notes that I get from students.”
  • “As a retired teacher, after 25-plus years in the Wash. state public schools (elementary), the very best ‘gifts’ I ever received were having a student come back to visit me after they were in middle or high school, or as young adults, and letting me know that I had made a positive difference in their lives, particularly the students who had been more challenging. It was really thrilling and gratifying to see them again, and to hear about their successes and accomplishments!!! Just no greater gift than that!!!”

An etiquette guide to regifting

  • “The best gifts I have received over the years have been students who returned to my school to say ‘hello’ and give me a hug. Thank you notes are always treasured.”
  • “Two quick stories. My mom was a teacher. She died seven years ago. Last summer I was cleaning out when I came across dozens of thank you cards from her students, which made me cry. Second, I am a professor. Thank you notes from students actually end up in my tenure review files.”
  • “I got gifts from some of my high school students at Christmas. The gift I still remember 30 years later was a note from a student telling me I had made her feel seen and that my classroom was a safe place.”

I know the sentiments expressed are repetitive. So, you might be thinking, “I get it.”

A teen overcame his shyness to collect and give away 54,000 toys

What if we spent as much time telling people about the positive impact they’ve had on our lives as we do shopping for the right gift to buy them? Think about the hours you have to work to pay off the credit card charges to demonstrate your affection.

Add to your list a present that money can’t buy — taking the time to write a genuine note of gratitude for the people who have made your life better — a teacher, a parent, a grandparent, sibling, friend, mentor, supervisor or colleague.

This is a gift people hold on to.

B.O.M. — The best of Michelle Singletary on personal finance

If you have a personal finance question for Washington Post columnist Michelle Singletary, please call 1-855-ASK-POST (1-855-275-7678).

My mortgage payoff story: My husband and I paid off the house in the spring of 2023 thanks to making extra payments and taking advantage of a mortgage recast. Even though it lowered my perfect 850 credit score and my column about it sparked some serious debate with readers, it was one of the best financial decisions I’ve made.

Credit card debt: If you’re in the habit of carrying credit card debt, stop. It’s just a myth that it will boost your credit score. For those looking to get out of credit card debt, see if a balance transfer is right for you.

Money moves for life: For a more sweeping overview of my timeless money advice, see Michelle Singletary’s Money Milestones. The interactive package offers guidance for every life stage, whether you’re just starting out in your career or planning for retirement.

Test yourself: Do you know where you stand financially? Take our quiz and read more personal finance advice.

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